What is Wrong With Us


A few days back, I was talking to a friend of mine. She was in quest of a place to stay, near her office.

She: My friends and I are looking for a house around this area. Would you help us in finding one ?

Me: What are you looking for, 2BHK or 3BHK ?

She: No, I am actually looking for PGs.

Me: Rented houses would be more comfortable than PGs. Why do you go for a PG ?

She: No, parents wouldn’t feel safe putting us in independent houses.

Why does an independent woman in an independent country feel unsafe to make a living.

Whats wrong with us ?

A few excerpts from the official statements made by socially accepted individuals.

“The female is a female by virtue of a certain lack of qualities; we should regard the female nature as afflicted with a natural defectiveness.”

“When a woman has scholarly inclinations there is usually something wrong with her sexual organs.”

“Direct thought is not an attribute of femininity. In this, woman is now centuries … behind men.”

“If rape is inevitable, just relax and enjoy it.”

“The poor fellows, three of them have been sentenced to death. Should rape cases lead to hanging? Boys are boys, they make mistakes. Two or three have been given the death sentence in Mumbai. We will try and change such laws…we will also ensure punishment of those who report false cases.”

“Hindu women should have between four and ten children”

“Just because India achieved freedom at midnight does not mean that women can venture out after dark. They should ensure that they do not board buses with few passengers. The woman should have thought twice before boarding the suspicious private bus that night. Though the incident was condemn-able, she should also have behaved keeping in mind the situation. Although it [Delhi gang-rape] was a minor incident, Soniaji made it a point to meet the protesters when they called on her.”

“Pakistan’s powerful Council of Islamic Ideology (CII) has passed a draft proposal for a bill which recommends that “husbands must be allowed to lightly beat their wives” in case the later behaves erratically.”

Ain’t equality a birthright of every individual ?

What’s wrong with us ?

From the advent of civilization, we have collectively taken a hypocritical stand in one aspect, which is prejudice against a sexually dimorphic human species. Our rivers are named after women, our Vedas insist the parents to gift their daughters the intellect and the power of knowledge before she gets married, our customary practices reiterate women to light the lamps for Agni to symbolize the absence of darkness and grief, and the very same custom was cool with pushing a widowed woman into the same Agni.

The same hypocrisy still exists in our everyday life.

Those “Don’t cry like a girl.” provokes from the elders, those “ Are you a girl ? Won’t you come outside and play with us” taunts from your seniors, those ” Girls will marry and go, you should work hard to get settled” free advice from the entire world.

Those “She has a good hand writing and ability to mug up” lame excuses we tell our parents when the girl next door scores better than us.

If a Woman voices her opinion call her a “Slut” , If a woman is successful call her a “Witch“, If husband fails in his business, call his wife “Unlucky“, above all if a girl refuses to accept your proposal, “Strew acid at her” or lest “Kill not just her but also her character“.

Ain’t Gender difference a matter of chromosome ?

What’s wrong with us ?

In a society where still a girl’s dress speaks about her character, the caste flashes first in the headlines instead of the fact that a girl was raped, the concept of Consensual Sex is worth unmentioned.

Equality shouldn’t stop with drafting just a bill. It should be in the very essence of society, right from “building toilets in motels where men find open ground to pee and women are left with just two choices; One is to go in search of darker places or lest control the advances of kidney” to “treating a woman with good will not because she is a woman but an individual”.

Respect a woman not because you have a mother or a sister. Respect her for the person she portrays.

Misogyny is no less shittier than racism.

One For The Crowd!

find your beautiful

India is going through a very bad phase right now. Yeah! We are witnessing the hottest summer in decades, we saw Mallya absconding, taking with him a part of India’s economy, the Indian cricket team losing the World cup semis and a ‘Housefull’ sequel releasing next month! Amidst all these misfortunes, I happened to see one good YouTube video last week (No, not the “Angel song” by Taher Shah or Kamal R Khan’s ‘Fan’ review). It was a video called “Find your beautiful” featuring Radhika Apte. It had her looking at a photo of a younger her, wondering what she would say to that girl. It had the cutest dialogues and a brilliant message. I don’t remember the last time I saw something about women that didn’t blame men for each and everything.

It all started in the year 2012, when that shameful, disheartening and brutal event happened in Delhi. It was a wake up call of sorts for the Indian community, which couldn’t accept a more forward and exotic way of living. It was a Global topic to discuss on India’s stand in women’s safety. Quite ironically, countries like the USA, UK, which tops the list of number of harassment cases, ‘advised’ us on women safety and equality. And we Indians, as usual, had and have been quite receptive of those advises.

The ‘India’s Daughter’ documentary, for instance, was trending in YouTube right from the day it was released. For starters, it was a documentary released by the BBC (the irony I was talking about!) containing interviews from the lawyers, relatives and medical professionals associated with the ‘Nirbhaya’ case. Since then, many articles, many news reports, many interviews focused the issue of sexual harassment in our country. Things are getting better now, except for one thing, the blame on ‘men’. Not ‘those men’ whom we should have blamed and punished, but ‘men’ in general. The lawyer’s view of that case was particularly criticized for being sexist, which it was, but some went on to criticize the whole male community. Is our society too dangerous for women to survive? I don’t think so. That said, I am equally ashamed of the recent harassment cases, but that doesn’t mean an entire community must be blamed.

The other day I saw this Facebook post saying “Men, stop treating women so badly!” from someone in my friend’s list and I really laughed out loud. We all know Phoolan Devi and Cyanide Mallika were murderers, but does it make the whole women’s community, murderers? No offense. As much as I respect people’s opinion against sexual discrimination, I think we have evolved better than blaming a whole community based on the actions of some psychos.

But then again, this is just my Opinion.

Criminals Thrive in the Indulgence Of Society’s Understanding


Indulgence!The ability to resist our whims and desires. The very quality in which we Indians, the most revered civilization on Earth, ought to expertise. Of course, it is a solid constituent and a part and parcel of our everyday life. In the name of our motherland, in the way we lead our living, in the view that we care to have on others’ problems, I leave our ultimate semblance on this grounds to the rest of this text.

Around the globe, people respect India and its cultural opulence. Let’s spare a moment discussing this. True to our soul, think of the way we spend every day here. Unfortunately, we will be left in a pathetic situation which leaves us with no choice other than feeling offended. We must rather feel guilty for the position we get abroad on emotional and cultural grounds.

Speaking on this roughly would rather bring an obscure picture. Let’s dig this further and I’m happy if we get a clear picture, which might in turn arouse a fire that solves them.

Strange Omnipresence

            We people take proverbs and old sayings a big deal, in fact use them as guides to many important decisions we take in life, later we blame the same for the terrible aftermath. Here steps in the pseudo support of indulgence. Thanks to the generations that sowed its seeds in this ultra-modern society we live in, and generously brought that up. The point is that the sayings have not been understood as they were to be. I would rather say they are being presumed in the manner that pleases us.

So we tend to act in a way we like, with absolutely no care about society’s understanding, which might get opposed at dawn, but unfortunately, followed blindly before dusk that follows. Every Indian nook and corner has at least a stain of this trend. Basically a problem (the evil to the eyes of writer) has an ability to spread like a wildfire in all means, which lay the pavement for the well-establishedsocialism, Criminality of course.

Corruption is one such example. It is more like a lay man starting his life with all his might to make for his daily bread. He will look for all means to get into a job at first, then making his position permanent at the first job or moving to a better place where he gets chance to spread his business and revered more. That’s the way. He’s the boss then, independent to be on his own. Here comes an addiction and support that drives him. Corruption too ruins the society with such steadiness at every stage, boosted by the Indian indulgence that flood around.

Here the point the readers are requested to note is the ‘Independence’ factor that’s in the driver’s seat. Our motherland too got very much used to this evil only at the post-independence decades, when we pretend to be on our own. Because pre independent India was driven by very strong ambitions and aspirations with no room for reluctance and tolerance of any kind of evils. But now, we cannot deny that we were reluctant at first. But we develop ignorance as days go by, we tend to travel against the ethical way while we pursue the personal ethics, like an adolescent against his fathers’ words. Eventually we tend to just pursue but not follow.

Unethical Ethics

            We have practiced to live with many criminals within, in every person or society. We do encourage them at every stage of their development by our inherent qualities. Awesomeness. We have immediate criminal encounters everywhere both in reality and every column of newspapers.

Bribery, the most pampered child of Indulgence. Wow! It’s a necessary evil nowadays. We often consider bribing as a duty. We do everything for a reason of course. We have made up our auspicious minds that bribe too is for a reason. We plan the same as a part of our budget. Lovely, isn’t it? It somehow occupies the honourable position of the society, making its victims colour-blind.

In what way I’m degraded to bribery? Claims robbery. Our KNOWLEDGE is what matters. Bribery comes in tandem with our knowledge, while robbery cares not. So do the punishments. Every chain that is snatched came out of indulgence that screens our inborn emotions to resist. We don’t even have guts to launch a police complaint, guided by our soul’s voice sounding that to be useless.

We are yet to encounter another similar necessarily omnipresent Social Giant, which dwells with pride in every currency bill we give in. Any essential embodiment of the society has its footprint, i.e., the donations that we pay in every institution that we deal with. It starts with a monetary assistance they accept to build themselves, to the commanding demand they pose to customers, subscribers, students, candidates or any other better name you may call the victims by. Nowadays people even don’t care to claim proper receipts for the funds they pay, as instructed by their ignorance. We want admissions in prestigious institutions, ready to spend lakhs off the record.


If I am not wrong, I say the driving reason backing up these is the reluctance to show interest in it, cleared by the above stated instances. We proudly consider it to be wise to be away from these evils to care a lot about our personal business and living. We don’t have enough patience and involvement to get into it and do our part against it. We don’t find it better to be in governing too, considering politics to be rubbish. People nowadays find no time to care for others and have mind to help them. We advise our children not even to speak to strangers. The girls at home are instructed not to rely upon any strange man she finds. But we rely upon arranged marriages.

Many who advise don’t follow the same. Contradictorily, we strictly follow it.

We rush away from a crime scene or a heartrending accident scene. We develop hatred against police stations, even to step into it. If we want a service done at a government office, we have developed and practiced a wonderful nature of enquiring the personnel and settling the honorary special pay to get the job done (boosting up the process, in department terminology).

Anything looks ordered from distance. All these crimes may pretend to be the parts of our well-being from such distant visage. Chaos of course lies warm within the smoke on mirrors they show. A little bit closer look may show its true colours that facilitate reformers to take care of.

But who cares!

This post was originally published first at The Opinion and later republished at Conscience Spoke with permissions